I’m going to be honest with you. I didn’t decide to write this until about 12 hours ago yesterday when a friend of mine called me. She told me about this article (http://wanderonwards.com/2013/12/30/23-things-to-do-instead-of-getting-engaged-before-youre-23/) and how much it hurt her to see someone say that young marriages were “a way for young people to hide… an admission that the world is just too big and scary to deal with on your own; thus, you now have someone that is legally obligated to support you till one of you dies or files for divorce.” Wow. Sounds like someones a little bit angry?
Somehow this discussion lead to the ever so frequent conversation about what is right.
Think about it. Especially for those of us in our early 20’s, how often have you contemplated what is ‘right’? Am I choosing the right major? Have I made the right career choice? Did I choose the right school? Is he the right guy? Is she the right girl? IS THIS THE RIGHT CHOICE?
Doing what’s right has become a whole new stress of its own. I find myself worrying about it incessantly, pondering whether or not the decisions I’m making are the decisions that have been chosen RIGHT by the Gods of Right. We all do it. We comb the internet looking for articles, we ask our friends and our parents for confirmation. Failing is not an option… Oh Gosh! What is right?
I’m going to go ahead and lift a huge weight off of your shoulders:
There is NO RIGHT. That’s right (ha-ha). It’s one big lie. A piece of phony bologna. Right has been created to sell you stuff. Every company will argue that they have the right clothes, the right makeup, the right tools, the right appliances just for you. These are the correct choices. These are the RIGHT choices.
But in reality they’re not.
In fact, all choices are just that : choices. Each choice comes with a list of potential consequences. Some of those consequences might be good, and some might be bad. You never know what you’re going to get.
Even if you make a choice that offers plenty of good consequences… you may be so unlucky to end up with all the bad ones. That’s just life. Fail. F-up, get angry, yell at your cat, cry on the floor with a tub of ice cream, ask ‘Why’ out loud and then start all over again. It’s okay to make a mistake. It’s okay to not choose what you’ve been told is right. You’ll survive. No one will tape a scarlet F to your chest to let everyone know you failed. Life will go on, and you learned.
The beauty is you get to choose. You have the luxury of choice.
For example: As much as I’m sure a 23 year old female single blogger knows plenty about marriage (100% not sarcastic) being in a relationship and getting hitched early might be the choice for you. For others, like myself, we have some exploring to do. It’s a choice we are actively making everyday. I don’t doubt that there are things I’m missing out on by choosing to not be married. I accept that consequence, but trying to pressure people to do either one because it’s the ‘right’ thing to do – that’s just flat out ignorant.
Tomorrow don’t let your list of 2014 New Years Resolutions be a list of things you’ve been told are right. Choose things that make you happy. Choose things you want to do.
Write down your list and consider all the possibilities that come along with that list. The Good. The Bad. The Downright Ugly.
and then get out there and do it all.